Accepting and Dealing with the Hardship of Divorce

- Gary E. Williams

When you decided to get divorced, you knew it was going to be difficult. But you did not realize just how difficult. Facing the cold, hard truths of divorce can often make people reconsider their course of action, and stay together when it ultimately is not in their best interests.

UNDERSTANDING THE CONFLICTING EMOTIONS OF DIVORCE

You should not feel bad if divorce leaves you confused and angry. After all, you are dealing with your soon-to-be ex spouse who, in the current situation, is your opponent, the person you fear may take from you things like financial freedom and access to your children. At the same time, this is the same person you once decided to start a life with, whom you may still love. It is not an easy set of circumstances to comprehend.

First off, accept that if you have children together, your ex will always be in your life to some extent. You must deal with this, and how you do so depends entirely on the two of you. Your ex may try to rebuild your friendship, or want nothing to do with you. Mentally prepare for anything, and begin to prepare for other realities of life after divorce.

DIVORCE IS ESPECIALLY HARD ON CHILDREN

Children are tougher than we give them credit for, but your divorce will affect your kids. They will likely experience loss, grief and pain as the result of your split. You must live with that, but understand that the pain of the alternative may ultimately be worse.

If you are divorcing parents, do not try to control the experience of your children. Listen to and try to respect their feelings on your divorce, no matter how difficult.

OWN YOUR FEELINGS ON THE MATTER

You have a right to confusion, anger, frustration and sometimes even desperation during a divorce. Do not deny the feelings as they come. Find a friend, relative or professional counselor to whom you can talk, and do so frequently.

If you’re considering divorce, you need a divorce lawyer who understands the physical and emotional toll that divorce can take on all parties involved, while being a strong advocate for your needs and concerns. Speak with an experienced attorney at the Law Firm for Family Law.